haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize