So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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