Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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