BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
