so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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