It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If I die, sorry about rent.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize