So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
