Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize