Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
