im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
