Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
ttyl tear gas
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Randomize
