it wasn't lemon gatorade
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
