i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
