Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize