so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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