Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
