she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just want to make out with him forever
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize