it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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