I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
