i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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