Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
