I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
