dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
