We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
