Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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