I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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