I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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