I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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