Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize