i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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