He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
