You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
