Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize