I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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