direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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