Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
