Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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