Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize