Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize