Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize