i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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