i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
