don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
