If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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