I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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