Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
