38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
