Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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