It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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