There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
