so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
