508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
