You made me cry and you don't even care
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
