then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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