just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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