you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Let's get the cat blown out
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
