after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
