My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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