Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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