He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
