Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
