fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
