im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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