I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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