I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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