real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
