drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
