haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
