I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
