oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
how does that bad decision feel?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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